Rewriting Negative Core Beliefs to Live a More Fulfilled Life

Have you ever considered the invisible threads that tug at the decisions and perceptions shaping your life? I'm Michelle Hall, survivor and Christian life coach, inviting you on an enlightening path to explore the profound effects of childhood trauma on our core beliefs. This episode isn't just a narrative—it's a bridge to transformation for women who have experienced the deep scars of childhood sexual abuse, and a beacon of understanding for anyone seeking to rewrite the misconceptions that have long dictated their life's course.

As we journey together, you'll gain insight into five common negative core beliefs etched into survivors' hearts, and the ways these can corrode self-esteem, trust, and the ability to form healthy relationships. But there's a beacon of hope—I'll share the tools you need to identify and reshape these beliefs, crafting a new foundation built on truth and strength. The stories, strategies, and heartfelt guidance are all designed to guide you to a place where your past is a chapter, not the entire book of your life. Join me, for a powerful conversation that could very well be the turning point you've been searching for.

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Transcript

Michelle Hall: 0:01

Hello Esteemed One. Do you know if you have negative core beliefs that were developed from your childhood trauma? I hope that you don't, but if you do, how do you deal with them? Better yet, how can you change them so they no longer affect your quality of life? Let's talk about that. I'm Michelle Hall, a Christian life coach and the host of Broken to Blessed, a podcast designed for women survivors of childhood sexual abuse, where the goal is to empower, encourage and inspire women survivors who are on their healing journey to keep on going. Healing is possible. I know that to be true because I am also a survivor and I've done it, and I'm here to help you do the same.

Michelle Hall: 1:03

So what are core beliefs anyway? Well, they are deeply held beliefs that inform how people see themselves and the world. They have a large influence on people's perceptions and thoughts, behaviors and decision making. They can be neutral, positive or negative. Core beliefs form such a huge part of a person's worldview that it may be difficult to identify them. The core beliefs are often at the subconscious level, which means they are ingrained in us, and it's often difficult to identify what they are because they've been a part of us for so long and we simply don't recognize them. Core beliefs often function as unstated rules for how the world works and a person's role in it. These beliefs tend to be stiff, rigid and inflexible and are sometimes not necessarily reasonable, accurate or based on evidence. For example, a person might see themselves as fundamentally unlikeable even though they have a strong and supportive friend group. Core beliefs also include a person's view of other people, such as the belief that people are inherently good or inherently bad.

Michelle Hall: 2:30

Core beliefs develop as a response to a person's experience. They typically began during early childhood and continue to develop over time. Those core beliefs that start to take shape very early in childhood are not always rooted in balanced and informed information. As children, we can unknowingly absorb messages from family, friends, teachers and the media, and those messages may influence their worldview in a positive or negative way. Think about a teacher who puts a limit on a young student by telling them that they will never achieve a particular level or that they will always be a below average student.

Michelle Hall: 3:21

Here are some examples of a positive core belief and a negative core belief I am intelligent and resourceful. I am unlovable. As I stated earlier, core beliefs are not necessarily rooted in truth. So a core belief of I am lovable or I am unlovable is most likely not rooted in truth. Right, but you don't wanna just flip it and go to the opposite of what that belief is. For example, if your core belief is I am unlovable, you don't wanna just flip that around and say I am lovable or everybody loves me, because that's not necessarily true either.

Michelle Hall: 4:16

It's about finding what is reasonable and evidence-based, since core beliefs begin developing in childhood, you can probably imagine how a child who's experienced trauma or abuse can form negative core beliefs based on that experience. They can adopt the belief that they cannot trust anyone. They could develop a belief that the world is not safe because that is what their experience was as a child and that became a core negative belief. What happens when you go into the world as an adult with such a core belief? How does that affect you? How does that affect what you do and how you feel? It can manifest as fear and it adversely affects your quality of life. So I wanna talk about some common negative beliefs that you may have as a result of childhood trauma, and then I wanna talk about how to identify what your core beliefs are, whether positive or negative, and how you can start to change them if you need to.

Michelle Hall: 5:32

Here are five negative core beliefs that survivors of childhood sexual abuse may have that can significantly impact their thoughts, emotions and behaviors. A negative core belief about self-worth and identity, and that could be something like I am unlovable, damaged or inherently bad. The impact of this negative core belief can lead to low self-esteem, self-blame and a constant sense of inadequacy. Many survivors struggle to see themselves as worthy of love and positive relationships. Another negative core belief is about trust in others. This could look like people can't be trusted or everyone has the potential to hurt me. The impact of this is that survivors may find it challenging to establish and maintain trust in relationships. This belief can contribute to isolation, difficulty forming connections and a perpetual fear of being betrayed.

Michelle Hall: 6:47

Another negative core belief is related to control and safety, and it could sound like the world is dangerous and I'm powerless to protect myself. This belief may result in hypervigilance, difficulty of relinquishing control and challenges in feeling secure. Survivors may adopt coping mechanisms that involve rigid controls in an attempt to create a sense of safety. Now I talk a little bit about this in the prior episode about finances and trauma, and I talked about how my lack of power and my desire for control led me to being hypervigilant about money when I got married, so check out season two, episode 24, for more about that. Another negative coping negative core belief is about coping mechanisms. It could be something like I am unable to cope with life's challenges without resorting to destructive behaviors. The impact of that kind of belief can contribute to the development of maladaptive coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse, self harm or other forms of self-sabotage. Another negative core belief is related to the future outlook, and it could sound like the future is bleak and I am destined to suffer. This belief can result in a sense of hopelessness and a reluctance to envision a positive future. Survivors may struggle with setting goals or believing in their ability to create a fulfilling life.

Michelle Hall: 8:35

Since core beliefs normally began to develop in early childhood, they often reside in our subconscious mind, as I stated earlier. So in order to identify what your core beliefs are, you're going to have to go deeper than your conscious mind to figure out what those core beliefs actually are, and that's not always easy, but it can be done. You can attempt to do it on your own. There are plenty of resources and books that are out on the market that you can pick up and do the exercises on your own. If that does not work, you may need assistance to help you dig deep to get to the root of the belief. You can get help from your counselor, therapist or coach. Oftentimes other people can guide you to the root of a situation better than you can guide yourself.

Michelle Hall: 9:30

One thing you do need to pay attention to is the automatic thoughts that you have, and these are thoughts that you typically would notice. These would be subconscious thoughts, so you have to become more aware of them and start to take note of things and patterns that are automatic in your thinking. Another thing you can do is keep a journal for several weeks and record your thoughts and feelings. Then you can focus on specific times or situations where you have extreme emotions or stress, such as after an argument with a spouse or stressful encounter with your child or your employer. Then, after a few weeks, review your journal and look for any patterns. Once you notice patterns in your thoughts, you can begin to ask yourself questions about what the real cause of those thoughts and patterns are. Another thing that you can do is consider what beliefs you have that you don't have evidence for. Keep in mind if a person finds that they cannot change a belief despite having strong evidence that contradicts it, it is probably a core belief. Thoughts that are more difficult to change or challenge are often linked to core beliefs.

Michelle Hall: 10:58

A form of therapy that is used often to change core beliefs is cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT. Cbt is a structured, goal-oriented type of talk therapy, and it can help manage mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety and emotional concerns such as coping with grief or stress. Cbt can also help manage non-psychological health conditions such as insomnia and chronic pain. Cbt treatment usually involves efforts to change thinking patterns. These strategies might include learning to recognize your distortions in thinking that are creating problems and then reevaluate them in light of reality, or gaining a better understanding of the behavior and motivation of others, or using problem-solving skills to cope with difficult situations and learning to develop a greater sense of confidence in your own abilities. Cbt usually involves efforts to change behavioral patterns also, and these strategies might include facing your fear instead of avoiding them, or using rope play to prepare for potentially problematic interactions with others, and learning to calm your mind and relax your body.

Michelle Hall: 12:36

Like I said earlier, there are books and resources available for people to try on their own. If they feel that's where they want to start. That is perfectly okay to do, but realize that it can be difficult for someone to do this level of work within themselves by themselves. Know that help is available if you need it. Check in with a counselor or a coach like myself to help you work through the process of identifying these negative core beliefs so we can help you with a strategy to change them and develop a different pattern of thinking and behavior. You do not have to do this alone. If you need this kind of support, I will be launching a personal development program later this month, in January, that can help you with this very issue.

Michelle Hall: 13:34

Click the link in the show notes to get on the waitlist, as information will be forthcoming really, really soon, and it will include enrollment, information and more. Know that you do not have to live with these negative core beliefs. You can change your thought pattern and your behavior patterns to something neutral or positive in order to live a more fulfilled life. Remember, healing is possible Until next time. Thank you for joining me on this episode of Broken to Blessed. Subscribe to the podcast and share it with all of your sister girlfriends. This podcast may be the catalyst to their human journey and remember life can get better. You just have to do the work. God bless.