Unearthing Our Intrinsic Value: A Journey from Self-Doubt to Divine Worthiness

Have you ever felt like you were constantly striving for acceptance, drowning in a sea of self-doubt and self-neglect? As your host and Christian life coach, Michelle Hall, I've walked that same rocky path, grappling with deep-seated feelings of unworthiness—echoes from a childhood marred by sexual abuse. But hope is not lost; our conversation today serves as a beacon for healing, guiding us to unearth the unshakeable truth of our value in God's eyes. We'll look closely at those behaviors that betray our inner struggles and learn how to cultivate self-awareness, which is critical in redefining our sense of worth from within. No longer do we need to seek validation from the world; instead, we learn to cherish and uphold our intrinsic value.

Our journey doesn't end with self-realization; it blooms into the art of self-nurturing and the crafting of a life narrative brimming with self-honor and joy. I open my heart to you about my early marriage at just 21 and the abandonment that left scars, revealing how unaddressed childhood wounds can wreak havoc on our adult lives and relationships. But as we traverse this path together, I’ll share the steps I took to heal, to find my voice, and to stand in a place of self-love. We’ll talk about the power of faith in our healing process, and how turning to God can be instrumental in restoring what was lost. This is our time to move from broken to blessed, embracing a future where we are defined not by our past, but by the strength and worth we've always possessed. Join us for this transformative episode of Broken to Blessed, and remember to hit subscribe for more empowering stories.

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Chapters

• 0:01 Overcoming Feelings of Unworthiness
• 7:50 Reclaiming Self-Worth and Healing
• 13:13 Restoring Worth and Self-Nurturing

Transcript

Michelle Hall: 0:01

Do you have a hard time receiving love, being nurtured or cared for by others, even when it's given with no strings attached? Or perhaps you feel compelled to meet the needs and desires of others, often at your own expense. Well, you are not alone. These are a couple of behaviors that could indicate the feeling of unworthiness. As a survivor of childhood sexual trauma, feeling unworthy is often one of the unfortunate ripple effects that so many women deal with today. But I have good news you can change how you feel about yourself. Let's talk about it. I'm Michelle Hall, a Christian life coach and the host of Broken to Bless, a podcast designed for women survivors of childhood sexual abuse, where the goal is to empower, encourage and inspire women survivors who are on their healing journey to keep on going. Healing is possible. I know that to be true because I am a survivor and I've done it, and I'm here to help you do the same. Hello, esteemed ones, today we're talking about the feeling of unworthiness. Unfortunately, unworthy is a word that many women survivors use to describe themselves because of the trauma that they experience as a child. They feel that they are undeserving of anything good in their lives or that they are not valuable. That thought pattern can be developed on its own or from someone else telling them that they are unworthy, that they are no good and that they will not amount to anything. Because of the trauma that they've experienced, children are often blamed and shamed for what happened to them, and of course, we know that is not true. Before I go any further, let me just say that you are worthy, regardless of what anybody says, regardless of what you've been told or what has been instilled in you over and over and over again. You are worthy. You are worthy in the eyes of the Lord. There are many scriptures that reinforce your worthiness, but first and foremost, we are created in the image of God, and that all by itself makes us worthy. We are worthy when we come into the world. It is the situations and circumstances of a life that leads us to believe otherwise. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. God knit us together and our mothers womb. But what's more important is what do you believe about yourself? Do you believe that you are unworthy? Because if you do, that is how you show up in the world. Right, it's all based on what you believe. So I'm going to look at some behaviors that may indicate feelings of unworthiness, and I'm going to look at some shifts to help you see your worth and value and change how you show up in your life. Here are some behaviors or habits that could be indicative of feeling unworthy. So perhaps you feel guilty for having things that others don't have. Or you feel chronically depleted and exhausted by how much you give and how little you receive back. Perhaps you experience chronic feelings of emptiness beneath the activities that you have going on in your life. Or you are accomplishment driven and a workaholic. Perhaps you feel compelled to meet the needs and desires of others, often at your own expense. Or you have a hard time receiving love or being nurtured or cared for by others, even when it's given with no strings attached. These feelings and behaviors could be an indication that you feel unworthy. Right, there's nothing wrong with helping and being generous or being ambitious, but you have to look at what is causing you to be that way, especially if you are constantly exhausted and feeling unappreciated.

Michelle Hall: 4:43

Self-awareness is crucial to determine the underlying motivation for the behavior. Here are some evidence that may validate that you are feeling unworthy. Are you deeply disconnected from your own needs and desires and are you much more aware of the needs and desires of others even more than they are? Do you sacrifice your own well-being for the real or imagined needs and desires of others? Do you have difficulty setting limits and saying no to request for other people's help? Do you not set relationships up inside of mutuality, but rather train people that you are the giver and they are the receiver? Or perhaps you get yourself into debt for others, never having enough to truly take care of yourself? These are some ways that you exist in the world that could indicate you're feeling unworthy.

Michelle Hall: 5:48

And what are the limiting beliefs that would compel someone to show up in this way? Perhaps you could feel like you don't have the right to take up space or have a voice or even exist. Or you feel like others can't fend for themselves and need you to step in and do things for them. It's like inserting yourself to rescue other people, because that's where you find true value in yourself. You ignore yourself by not taking care of your own needs, but by taking care of others. You hope that you will find your worth. Well, let me just tell you that your worth is not determined by what you do for other people. Other people cannot instill worthiness. You have to find worth and value within yourself, and that's where inner work comes into play. Right, I've talked about inner work, because we have to make changes, we have to learn new ways of being, we have to learn new skills and capabilities that are healthy and balanced, so that we are not sacrificing ourselves and we're not running ourselves to exhaustion and trying to gain or earn worthiness in the eyes of others. Introducing the esteemed shop where confidence meets style. Elevate your wardrobe with our inspirational t-shirts, start your day with positivity and spread love with our unique collection. At the esteemed shop, we believe in celebrating the power of self-love. And here's something special just for you Use code blackhistory10 for an exclusive 10% off your entire part until February 29, 2024 in honor of Black History Month. Visit the esteemedshop. com now and embrace your greatness, because empowerment knows no bounds.

Michelle Hall: 7:50

I've talked on other podcast episodes about how I got married early, at the age of 21, and how I was abandoned on my initial wedding day but got married two days later. I was unhealed from my childhood trauma, which included a gaping father wound and childhood sexual abuse, and I didn't realize how wounded I was. I didn't realize the emotional damage that I had sustained and I didn't know what marriage was really all about. So, because of all of the trauma and adverse experiences that I had as a child, I went into marriage with the sole expectation of making my husband happy. My goal for marriage was to make him happy. I had no concern for myself. I just wanted to make him happy so that he would continue to love me. Now, if the embodiment of unworthiness was a person, it would be me. Yeah, unfortunately, it's true, I was sacrificing myself to get love and I didn't even know that's what I was doing.

Michelle Hall: 9:07

But thank God for growth, thank God for his grace and his mercy, thank God for healing and for the ability to shift. You have to find a new story. You have to find a new story and shift from disconnecting with yourself to connecting with your essential goodness and your right to have a place in this world, and you can do that by creating a new story. You develop a new way of being, such as I honor my needs and desires as holy and prioritize my well-being over caring for others. Or I gracefully and gratefully receive from others, releasing any impulse to reciprocate from obligation or duty, or I am deeply kind and compassionate and I have come to bless this world. I recognize my own inherent value and give from a place of overflow, abundance and as an act of profound self-expression. Now you have to create your own story. These are just some examples. You have to create your own story for what it is you want in your life.

Michelle Hall: 10:27

Now, all of that sounds good and you're probably wondering well, how do I do that? Well, that's the inner work. That's the inner work that needs to be done and that requires learning new skills and capabilities, learning how you think about yourself and changing your behaviors, and that takes work. It takes work because some of the skills that you may need to learn are how to take up space, how to presence yourself and have a voice and participate in your life like you are deserving. You may have to learn or develop the capacity to be deeply present in the suffering of others, without rushing in to rescue, fix or give them whatever you perceive to be missing. This is a huge one. You may need to learn the capacity to nurture and replenish yourself by figuring out what brings you joy and pleasure and then making those things a regular part of your life instead of having them be optional.

Michelle Hall: 11:39

Now, I'm not saying that we are not to help people or that we should not give to others. I'm saying we have to shift what we believe about ourselves at our whore and you give from that place. You don't give from a place of unworthiness, because if you do that, there's no consideration for you. You don't have healthy boundaries in place, you don't take care of yourself and you run yourself ragged, you run yourself tired and you run yourself into debt and you still feel unworthy. So the inner work is worth.

Michelle Hall: 12:23

The work Is worth the time and effort to create a new sense of self and to create a new story for yourself and to recognize your own inherent worth and value. And then you can operate from a healthy place. You can still help, you can still participate in things and do so willingly, but not out of obligation and not looking for someone to validate you or make you feel worthy, because you already know your worth. Ultimately, it boils down to self love and self care. You can change what you believe about yourself. You can craft your own new truth statement about your worth and value that you bring to the world by honoring and caring for yourself all at the same time.

Michelle Hall: 13:13

And if you are a praying woman, don't leave God out. He created us worthy and he can restore what was lost in childhood. It's up to you to recognize and to nurture yourself worth so that you can live the life that God created for you to live. Beauty from Ashes Until next time. Thank you for joining me on this episode of Broken to Blessed. Subscribe to the podcast and share it with all of your sister girlfriends. This podcast may be the catalyst to their healing journey. And remember life can get better. You just have to do the work. God bless.